Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
