WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
