The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
