i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
