you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
