Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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