he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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