I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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