It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
