thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
