Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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