he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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