i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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