dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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