Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
