Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
