i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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