Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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