So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
