She is in my trunk
too bad you live with your parents still
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I FOUND THE LEGS
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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