I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
