Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
