Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm so fucking centered right now
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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