i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
