All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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