During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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