Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
