Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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