fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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