Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
