Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I AM VODKA MAN
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
