You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
