Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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