wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
