oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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