He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
