I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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