And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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