I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
