she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
