you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
