he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
