Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
