I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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