yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
