carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
