Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
