Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
