There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
