this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I see more hoeing in ur future
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