Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
